mental health & wellness
this is not a section i have seen on other neocities sites, but i wanted to include it in mine because it's an important part of my life.
i grew up with trauma, as many if not most people have, and was greatly affected by it throughout childhood & young adulthood. for the past 4-5 years, i've made some fairly significant changes in my ways of thinking, and have been working on developing a better set of tools to hopefully help me continue to improve.
i'm sharing some of these here, for myself but also for anyone else who may benefit from them ❤︎
⚠︎ important disclaimer! ⚠
i am not a mental health professional! this is just a collection of resources that have helped me personally
information
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Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
Internal Family Systems
Window of Tolerance
strategies for when you're dysregulated
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grounding techniques▼
box breathing
the 5-4-3-2-1 technique
progressive muscle relaxation
vagus nerve stimulation
affirmations for emotional flashbacks
when you're hyperaroused▼
use these techniques to calm down when you're hyperaroused (in fight or flight - feeling panicked, agitated or activated)
- drink herbal tea or cocoa
- self-massage
- go for a nature walk
- take a warm bath
- cuddle with a pet
- shake out your limbs like you're covered in water
- watch meditation or asmr videos
- lay under a heavy blanket or ask for a tight hug
when you're hypoaroused▼
use these techniques to "wake up" from hypoaroused (freeze or fawn - feeling dissociated, spacey or numb)
- splash cold water on your face
- dance to fast/energetic music
- chew gum, mints or cinnamon/ginger candies
- do yoga or stretching
- get a cold drink
- do EFT tapping
- do grounding techniques like 5-4-3-2-1 or counting everything in the room that's blue
- smell something energizing like citrus or peppermint
calming videos▼
sensory videos
- painting
- zen garden
- soap cutting
- baking
- pottery
- kinetic sand
- bob ross
- wood cutting
- writing
- venetian glass
- slime
- rug cleaning
asmr for emotional regulation
journal prompts
These prompts involve heavy & triggering topics. While this can be cathartic to write about, please make sure you are in a good headspace before trying them! If you notice signs of dysregulation while writing, take a break & focus on moving back into your window of tolerance.
| Prompt | Type |
|---|---|
| What is one small promise you can make to yourself this week — and keep? | Positive |
| Look around your immediate space. What is one small thing you've curated or organized that makes you feel proud or peaceful? | Positive |
| If you saw a dear friend accomplishing exactly what you did today (even if it was just resting), what kind words would you say to them? | Positive |
| Think of a small way you handle stress now that is different (and healthier) than how you might have handled it three years ago. Give yourself credit for that growth. | Positive |
| Recall a brief, low-pressure interaction with a stranger or an animal that felt "light." What made that moment feel safe? | Positive |
| Is there a hobby, a project, or a specific aesthetic that makes you feel like "yourself"? Describe what it feels like when you are immersed in it. | Positive |
| Forget what "happiness" is supposed to look like. What does a "peaceful afternoon" look like to you? Describe it in detail. | Positive |
| If you were to design a room where nothing bad could ever happen, what three items would have to be in there? | Positive |
| Write about a time you surprised yourself with your own strength recently. | Positive |
| What is one happy or calm thought that popped up today, even if it was just for a second? | Positive |
| What did you miss out on as a child that you see other people take for granted? Write about it without minimizing it. Your loss counts. | Grief |
| Write a letter to the parent/caregiver you needed but did not have. You don't need to send it. Tell them what you needed and what their absence or harm cost you. | Grief |
| Who were you before survival became your full-time job? Describe the interests, curiosities, or qualities you had as a young child — before you learned to hide. Which of those can you reclaim now? | Grief |
| Write a eulogy for your old survival self — the hypervigilant, people-pleasing, dissociating, or rageful version who kept you alive. Thank them. Then describe who is emerging in their place | Grief |
| Name three people, places, or activities that help you feel regulated and grounded. What do they have in common? What does that tell you about what your nervous system needs? | Rebuilding Trust |
| Write about a recent moment when you trusted someone and it went well. Describe it in detail — what you felt before, during, and after. Let your body register that trust can be safe. | Rebuilding Trust |
| What was trust like in your family of origin? Was it conditional, unpredictable, absent, or weaponized? How does that template show up in your adult relationships? | Rebuilding Trust |
| Write about a relationship where you feel genuinely accepted. If you can't think of one with another person, consider your relationship with a pet, a place, a creative practice, or yourself. What makes acceptance possible there? | Rebuilding Trust |
| Think of a person who makes you feel unsafe or anxious. Notice what happens in your body as you think of them. Where does the sensation live? What shape, temperature, or texture does it have? | Somatic Awareness |
| What part of your body do you like least, ignore most, or feel disconnected from? Write a letter to that body part. Ask it what it has been holding for you. | Somatic Awareness |
| Recall a physical comfort from childhood — a blanket, a pet, warm water, a hiding spot. Describe the sensory details. Now notice: does your body relax as you write about it? What does that relaxation feel like? | Somatic Awareness |
| Your body has been your most faithful protector. Write a thank-you letter to your nervous system. Acknowledge what it has endured and what it has helped you survive. | Somatic Awareness |
| Close your eyes and picture yourself at age 5-7. What is the expression on your face? What do you think that child needs to hear right now? Write it as a letter beginning with "Dear little one..." | Inner Child |
| Write a letter FROM your inner child to your adult self. Let your non-dominant hand hold the pen if you are writing by hand — this bypasses cognitive control and accesses more emotional truth (questionable assertion but worth a try ig). | Inner Child |
| What did you need to hear from a parent that you never heard? Write those words now, and notice how your body responds as you read them back to yourself. | Inner Child |
| Choose an emotion or behavior that feels problematic (e.g., anxiety, procrastination, anger). Address it as a part: "Hi, I notice you're here. What are you trying to protect me from?" | IFS |
| Write a dialogue between your Self and your inner critic. Begin with: "I see you working hard to keep me in line. What are you afraid will happen if you stop?" | IFS |
| Write a gratitude letter to a protector part — even one whose behavior you dislike. Acknowledge the impossible job it has been doing. Example: "Dear perfectionist part, I know you have been working so hard to make sure no one ever criticizes us again..." | IFS |
| When did anger feel like the safest emotion you could express as a child? What happened when you showed other feelings instead? | The 4 Fs (Fight) |
| If your anger could speak without censoring itself, what would it say? Who would it speak to? After writing, ask: what does my anger need that it has never received? | The 4 Fs (Fight) |
| What happens in your body and mind when you have an empty afternoon with nothing planned? Describe the feeling without judgment. | The 4 Fs (Flight) |
| Write about a time you were praised for being "so productive" or "so driven." How did that praise reinforce your flight response? | The 4 Fs (Flight) |
| Describe what dissociation feels like for you, in your own words. Where do you "go" when you leave your body? What does it feel like to come back? | The 4 Fs (Freeze) |
| What is one small action you could take today that would feel like choosing to be present — even for 30 seconds? What makes that feel hard? | The 4 Fs (Freeze) |
| Think of a recent interaction where you agreed with someone even though you privately disagreed. What were you afraid would happen if you had been honest? | The 4 Fs (Fawn) |
| Describe a relationship where you feel (or felt) like you're performing a version of yourself. What does the "real" version look like, and why does showing it feel dangerous? | The 4 Fs (Fawn) |
| What memories from your childhood elicit a strong emotional response? And how do those emotions manifest in your life today? | Flashbacks |
| Over the past month, what situations have triggered emotional flashbacks? Look for the common thread — is it criticism, abandonment, feeling unseen, loss of control? | Flashbacks |
| What comfort did you crave as a child that you never received? How do you unconsciously seek that comfort now? (Examples: approval-seeking, overworking, emotional eating, compulsive caretaking.) | Coping Mechanisms |
| What are you the most grateful for lately and why? | Positive |
| What is your worst case scenario and why? What does that bring up in you? | Misc. |
| What did you learn about emotions in your childhood home? Which feelings were allowed, and which were punished, ignored, or ridiculed? | Misc. |
calm box
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coming soon!!
